“The road I’m traveling to overcome my eating disorder has not been a walk in the park. It’s been a grueling trek through a dry, blistering desert. In my treatment these past couple of months, I realized something that I hadn’t in my prior treatment.
I was still living with the personality of my eating disorder.
I was convinced that I wasn’t ever supposed to feel scared. That it wasn’t part of me. That I was supposed to be seen as the girl with no emotion, who always work black, who’s very soul was a deeper black than the bottom of the Mariana Trench. A girl who never fully connected to the crowds around her. A girl who’s life was on the line, and just kept getting worse.
But that’s not me. It really came to me when I was challenging and supporting my peers who are fighting their own wars. I really want to connect to people around me. I want to spread the colors of my soul around the earth and feel like a part of it. I want a strong bond with all of my family and friends instead of a separation from them. I want it to be that I couldn’t care less what criticisms people want to hurt me with. I decide what I do and why. That’s my power. I want to be healthy and embrace my emotions, my personality, my values, and my beliefs. I want to be me. That’s health for me.
And I’m starting this new journey today.”